How to behave like a Parisian in the street
By Juliette Martel
Have you ever felt that there's a street code book that Parisians are hiding from foreigners just to make you feel stupid? Well, it doesn't actually exist but you are right when thinking that Parisians have tight rules for behaving in the street. Here we give you some of them:
Rule #1: Never stop. Nothing is more irritating for a Parisian than having to bypass someone who just stopped in the middle of his path. Think about it: he/she will probably lose 1 entire second and will never get it back.
Rule #2: Cross the street whenever and wherever you feel like it. Don’t take into account the color of the lights, the white lines on the ground or any other sign made for tourists and children. The only thing you can do is looking very quickly on both sides before crossing. But even if a car is coming, remember rule #1 and don’t stop. The car will. And if not, you won’t be able to regret it anyway.
Rule #3: Walk fast. You always need to look like you have a very important meeting in 10 minutes. No matter if you have no idea where you are going and you have been wandering around for the past hour. Keep walking fast, you will eventually end up somewhere.
Rule #4: Learn how to only look at what you want to see. You can look at shops, cafés, your phone and the top of the buildings. You don’t look at people trying to talk to you about charity, people asking for money or something to eat, pigeons, construction and garbage. After a few weeks, it will become natural and you won’t need to do any effort to erase these elements from your field of vision. The real Parisian sees the street as a Web page using AdBlock: interesting things right ahead and white areas around.
Rule #5: Remember, if a tourist tries to talk to you, you don’t speak English. Wait, you just don’t speak. Just keep walking. Fast. Don’t stop. You can even cross the street.
Rule #6: Don’t smile. Why the hell would you be happy? You live in a beautiful city, you are young, enjoying yourself, you have friends and projects. There is really nothing to be happy about.
Rule #7: You are right. The others are wrong. This is a general truth and does not need to be adapted to the context.
Did you follow every rule very carefully? Did you cross a street at the most dangerous point where cars can’t see you? Did you sigh loudly when you passed a group of tourists? Congratulations! You are definitely a real Parisian!
